I prayed the name of Yahweh Roi (The Lord Is My Shepherd) as part of my devotion last week. Ann Spangler, author of Praying the Names of God, requires the reader to study Psalm 23 to learn more about Yahweh Roi. She also poses the question, “How would your experience of daily life change if you really believed that goodness and kindness would follow you all the days of your life?”
All week long, I practiced living like I truly “believed that goodness and” mercy followed me. In all of my dealings, before I responded with sarcasm or a criticism, I chanted: Goodness and mercy follow you, Malkia; goodness and love follow you!
I have matured to a place of recognizing that God is ever-present in all of my circumstances, good and bad. The study of Psalm 23 moved me to recall a time when I was positioned in “the valley of the shadow of death” and I did not recognize the presence of God. The Valley – Chapter One addresses a time of walking “through the valley of the shadow of” heartache.
THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake. Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over. Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place. (Psalm 23, AMP).
O Lord, how long will this pain last?!
When I wake up in the morning, I’m hurting. When I go to sleep at night, I’m hurting. In the midday, I’m just going through the motions.
O Lord, how long will I walk in this valley?
Will this pain ever cease?! I’m inconsolable. A stranger to heartache I am not, but why did this have to happen to me? Seriously God, I can’t feel my heartbeat.
O Lord, how long will I stand in this valley?
I’m totally numb. I don’t want to laugh. I don’t want to smile. I don’t want to moan. I don’t want to wail. I don’t want to applaud. I don’t want to sing. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to move. I don’t!
What have I done in this life that’s deserving of such excruciating pain? I’m bewildered and nearly convinced that I’m suffering from a mental health disorder (i.e., dementia, schizophrenia).
O Lord, how long will I walk in this valley?
God, what happens when my faith diminishes to the size of a pinpoint?
But the Master said, "There is no 'more' or 'less' in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it would do it.” (Luke 17:6, MSG).
Dear God:
I need You to rescue me from this dark, paralyzing valley!
I’m neglecting my health. I’ve relapsed to the practice of immoral behavior and the consumption of harmful substances to relieve my pain.
Honestly, my faith is dwindling and I’m having a hard time believing Your promises. You said “goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life,” but right now, in this valley, I feel like sin, cruelty, and abandonment are following close behind me. (Psalm 23:6).
Life is challenging because I’m positioned in this valley and I don’t know how to escape. Life is good because my earth angels are interceding when I don’t have the fortitude to pray. Life is abundant because You are with me from my valley to my win!
Yahweh Roi, I need You to illuminate my path in this valley. Reveal Your presence to me, O Shepherd. Give me the faith to command this pain to jump to its rightful place, away from me. Shield me with Your rod and help me to heed Your guidance. Apply Your healing salve to comfort my aching heart. Please forgive me for withdrawing from You. Forgive me for turning to detrimental things, people and places, instead of turning to You. I extend my arms to You now as a demonstration of the release of my angst, and my willingness to depend on You. With my hands raised, I reach out for You to lead me one step closer to joy. In the name of Jesus Christ, the One who consoles and keeps me…Amen.
So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this!" You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough. (Psalm 30:10-12, MSG).
God can do anything but fail. Be encouraged as you encourage. Thank you for being a light to many. your cuz.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly enough (and not by coincidence, I know), I was praying Psalm 23 over the last month and reminding myself, every time I thought about my job ending and not having another one, and the mere thought of a mortgage weighing heavy on my shoulders -- "The Lord is my shepherd. I shall NOT be in want." Saying that to myself over and over.
ReplyDeleteAnd look at GOD! New job and happy to write that check!
"I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough!"
This post was right on time! GOD is always right on time! :-)