A VEHICLE OF COMPASSION -- Part II

Ephesians 4:2 is one of my favorite Bible verses.  As I revisited this verse in my morning meditation on Saturday, April 23, 2011, I was reminded of my prayer journal entry:

Friday, September 5, 2008

Recalling this morning's prayer, Patricia (my prayer partner) asked that my face and attitude be pleasant (God-like) when I prepare to get on MARTA.  She knows how much I despise public transportation--just thinking about the sights, sounds, and smells on MARTA makes me cringe!  99.9% of the time I adhere to this motto: Malkia does not do public transportation!  Patricia mentioned that my being on MARTA would help me reflect on how God has blessed me.  She also recommended that I purchase a round-trip Breeze Card with a five-dollar bill because using a higher denomination would yield change in coins.

5:54pm

After carefully reading instructions and pressing all the necessary buttons, I retrieve my round-trip MARTA Breeze Card and receipt.  I walk to the access gate and I'm trying to figure out how to gain entry.

Seeing my struggle, the MARTA attendant said "Wave it across the blue circle."

I looked back at him and said "Thank you."

I get down to the platform and it feels like a sauna!  Here I stand in my designer pantsuit and accessories, on the verge of a hot flash.  I immediately open my duffle bag, retrieve my flight itinerary and fashion it into a fan.  Contemporaneously, to my left, I hear a woman say to someone "It's hot down here!"  I turned to look and the 50-something (maybe 40-something) lady was wearing a mustard-colored sleeveless top with no bra, and had a significant amount of "afro puff" underarm hair on display for the whole world to see.

The train doors open and I enter.  Of course the train is crowded--it's Friday rush hour.  I refuse to stand on this ride from Peachtree Center to Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport and the only open seat I see is to my right.  I get to the seat and find it's not empty--there's folded toilet tissue occupying half of the seat.

Silently I pleaded: O, dear God, please don't let there be poo in this tissue!

I asked the man in the window seat if I could sit down and he gathered up his tissue and welcomed me to sit.

My uneasiness was noticeable to my seatmate.  He said, "I'm sorry if I scared you...if somebody tries to bother you, I'll shoot 'em and I don't even have a gun."  We both snickered and my discomfort level decreased a bit.

Jesus be a fence!  This man reeked of liquor and I just knew his scent would permeate my designer apparel.  How many more stops before we reach the airport?!

SELF-CHECK: Wait a minute Kia!  Today you asked God to bless those who are poor, hungry, homeless, and don't have any relationship with God or have turned their backs on God.  You asked to be used to display God's compassion.  You've been studying the name of El Shadday (God Almighty) all week long.  The Almighty Promise-Keeping God you serve is a protector, restorer, allows you to bask in favor all of the time, and entrusts you to do His work here on earth!

I asked God to open my spirit--help me to be completely humble and gentle, patient and bear with this stranger in love.  (Ephesians 4:2, NIV).  It's likely that I'll remain in this seat the entire ride and I cannot ignore God's creation.  I did ask to be an example of compassion, so this MARTA experience must be the opportunity to be used by God.  Plus, I'm wearing a highly visible amethyst and silver cross on my chest, if I don't act like a Christian all the other MARTA riders might consider me a hypocrite.

I take a good look at my seatmate.  He's got slick grey hair under his ball cap, blue eyes, a grey mustache and beard, rotten (and missing) teeth, calloused hands and dirty fingernails.  And right under his nose, a big glob of yellow mucus is stuck in his mustache.

This stranger strikes up a conversation with me.  He asks if I'm from Georgia and I tell him I'm from St. Louis, Missouri.

"I don't mean to be nosy, but may I ask your name?" he says.

"My name is Kia."

We shake hands.

I sat next to Edmund the entire MARTA ride.  He told me:

• he was crazy;
• he was born in Georgia;
• he stopped smoking dope, but he smokes cigarettes; and
• he drinks a little bit.

I immediately discerned that Edmund's elevator didn't reach penthouse level when I sat down next to him.  However, when his conversation was sound, he said "God bless you Kia!"  If I recall correctly, Edmund asked God to bless me at least four times.  In turn, I told Edmund "God bless you" four times.

Edmund complimented my eyes too: "You have beautiful eyes; they brighten me up!"

Throughout this MARTA journey there were opportunities for me to change seats, but I couldn't allow myself to leave Edmund and cut our conversation abruptly.  When Edmund's conversation was sane, I discerned that he was genuinely appreciative of my company.

I also had an opportunity to observe the other MARTA riders.  Their expressions were transparent:

• Ugh, she shook his hand; she'd better sanitize!
• Why is she entertaining his conversation?
• Why is she still sitting beside him, when there are open seats adjacent to her?
• Is she crazy?

In my humanness, I pondered similar thoughts.  Yet, in my spirit, I was certain that I was being used as God's vessel for compassion.  All those who witnessed my interaction with Edmund witnessed God's glory.

One of Us, a song written by Eric Bazilian, reads:

What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like some of us.

Just a stranger on the bus,

Trying to make his way home.

If God had a face,

What would it look like?

What if I never took the time to look at Edmund's face?  What if I never took the time to acknowledge Edmund's humanity?

It's likely that I would have missed an encounter with God.  I would have missed an opportunity to express gentleness, patience and love.  El Shadday revealed to me that MARTA was the perfect vehicle to exhibit compassion.

A VEHICLE OF COMPASSION -- Part I

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3, NIV). 

Monday, April 18, 2011, 9:00am

When I stepped onto the elevator, I recognized a passenger and exchanged pleasantries with him.  Altogether, there were three people on the elevator.  Before my friend exited the elevator doors, he said "Have a beautiful day!" to the both of us.

"You too!" I replied.

The other woman spoke no words and her body language reflected a tone of disregard.

I had a personal problem with the woman not responding.  In a matter of seconds, I thought:

• How could she not respond to someone who wished her well?
• What's her malfunction?
• She must be mute.
• Maybe she had a rough commute to work?

Life is challenging because other people's reactions can influence my behavior in a negative manner.  Life is good because I can choose to experience beautiful days and I do not have to take ownership of someone else's issues.  Life is abundant because each day offers me an opportunity to "live a life worthy of the calling I have received" through God.  (Ephesians 4:1, NIV).

Dear God: Due to Your calling, I am committed to respond to all situations with prayer.  Forgive me for being judgmental of others, especially when I do not know their status.  I understand that my personal demonstration of Ephesians 4:2 can make a positive difference in someone's life and I am poised to maintain peace.  Whatever the mode of transportation, let it be used as a vehicle for me to exhibit the compassion of Christ.  In the name of Jesus...AMEN.

In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk--better yet, run!--on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline--not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. (Ephesians 4:1-3, MSG).

A DOSE OF ENCOURAGEMENT -- April 13, 2011

Deeply respect God, your God. Serve and worship him exclusively. (Deuteronomy 6:13, MSG).

My recent blog posts have addressed challenging issues.  It is not an easy task to write about the challenging issues of life.  Yet, I write because my life is not a work of fiction.  I incorporate scripture in my writing because it is the non-fictitious Word of God that helps me cope with and conquer life's challenges.  I write because I sincerely believe that my personal testimonies will serve as encouragement to others.

Around 1:00am this morning, I was in my powder room preparing for bed and I started thinking about the God I serve.  I yearned to thank God; I needed to encourage myself and intercede for all people in desperate need of hope.  I began to speak adoration:

• I serve a God who can do all things.  (Mark 10:27, NIV).

• I serve a God who knows me.  (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV).  I serve a God who forgives me.  (Psalm 103:3, NIV).

• I serve a God who performs miracles.  (1 Chronicles 16:12, NIV).

• I serve a God who hears me.  (Psalm 5:3, NIV).  I serve a God who listens to me.  (John 9:31, NIV).  I serve a God who answers me.  (Psalm 3:4, NIV).

• I serve a God who supplies.  (Philippians 4:19, KJV).

• I serve a God who heals me.  (Exodus 15:26, AMP).  I serve a God who strengthens me.  (Philippians 4:13, HCSB).  I serve a God who empowers me.  (2 Timothy 1:7, CEV).  I serve a God who promotes me.  (1 Peter 5:6, MSG).

• I serve a God who loves me.  (John 16:27, NIV).  I serve a God who values me.  (Matthew 6:26, NIV).

• I serve a God who talks to me.  I serve a God who educates me.  (Joshua 1:8, NIV).  I serve a God who warns me.  (Psalm 19:11, NIV).  I serve a God who disciplines me.  (Deuteronomy 8:5, NIV).

• I serve a God who fights for me.  (1 Samuel 17:47, NIV).  I serve a God who shelters me.  (Psalm 61:4).  I serve a God who rescues me.  (Psalm 91:14).  I serve a God who keeps me.

• I serve a 3-in-1 God!

• I serve a God who calls me.  I serve a God who anoints me.  I serve a God who utilizes me.  I serve a God who accompanies me.  (Joshua 1:5, 9, NIV).  I serve a God who speaks through me.  (Jeremiah 1:9, NIV).

Life is good because I can extol God via speech and composition.  Life is abundant because I serve and worship God exclusively!  (Deuteronomy 6:13, MSG).

Dear God: I speak Your credentials because I revere You!  My soul is restored when I worship You.  It is an honor and privilege to serve You.  I hope today's Dose of Encouragement revitalizes the spirits of Your people.  In the name of Jesus Christ...AMEN.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11, NIV).

ALL ABOARD THE SELF-IMPROVEMENT SHUTTLE -- 1st Stop: Self-Examination

Listen to me, O Jacob, Israel, whom I have called: I am he; I am the first and I am the last. This is what the LORD says--your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea. (Isaiah 48:12, 17-18, NIV).

As much as I despise public transportation, I had to take a shuttle to a weekly committee meeting.  I have been a member of the Pity Committee for years.  The committee meetings are time-consuming, but today's meeting should be brief because we're voting on the theme for our monthly Pity Party.

After a 30-minute brainstorming session, the committee votes on the Pity Party theme--Regrets of the Past.  Again, the Pity Committee Chair designates me as the Pity Party Host.  It is now my responsibility to ensure that each party guest has a great time celebrating past regrets.

• I regret not speaking up for myself.
• I regret not taking my music lessons seriously.
• I regret not taking my foreign language lessons seriously.
• I regret not having the courage to tell my first therapist what was really bothering me.
• I regret not achieving my academic goals.
• I regret not taking care of my mental, physical and spiritual health.
• I regret being involved in noxious relationships.
• I regret chasing pipe dreams--it was a waste of time and resources.
• I regret not realizing my full potential until now.

If only I had paid attention to God's exhortations, I would possess river-like peace. (Isaiah 48:18, NIV).

Dear God:

I am tired of hosting pity parties!  The party atmosphere is dismal.  Really, how much fun am I supposed to have celebrating past regrets?

Concentration on past regrets creates a sense of hopelessness and causes me to feel inadequate.  My state of mind gets so depressed that I almost convince myself that I am a failure.  What happened in my past that caused me to feel so unhappy?  What happened in my past that caused me to feel so afraid?  Lord, if I paid attention to Your instructions years ago, would I be in this disappointed state?  What's at the core of this self-pity?

You have my full attention, Lord!  I have decided that I want to evaluate myself.  I am very familiar with the inventory of my past and I know I need to make some changes for improvement.

You have my full attention, Lord!  Help me carefully examine my past.  Expose my hurts and teach me how to get better.  Reveal my God-given talents and help me stop comparing myself to others.  Unmask my wicked associates and assist me in discovering God-fearing friends.  Train my thought-life to "demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of" You; train me to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to" Jesus Christ.  (2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV).

You have my full attention, Lord!  Heal me and give me a testimony to publicize Your magnificence.

Life is challenging because focusing on past regrets can lead to wallowing in self-pity.  Life is good because I do not have to feel sorry for myself.  I can choose to improve.  I can choose to do as Christ commands: "Pick up your mat and walk!"  (John 5:8, CEV).  Life is abundant because I can aspire to forget "what lies behind and" strain "forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward."  (Philippians 3:13-14, AMP).

You have my full attention, Lord!  I'm ready to depart from misery.  I'm ready to depart from rage.  I'm ready to depart from timidity.  I'm ready to depart from bitterness.  I'm ready to depart from trauma.  I'm ready to depart from worry.

I am ready to board the

Self-Improvement Shuttle!

Lord, I am fully aware that Self-Improvement is a P-R-O-C-E-S-S.  I know this journey will last a lifetime and I may have to revisit some destinations.  Reassure me that I'm well-equipped to go through this process.

Direct me in the way I should go.  (Isaiah 48:17, NIV).  Lead me to the next stop on this Self-Improvement route.  Reassure me that I will eventually reach the final destination of win.

I intercede for those who hesitate boarding the Self-Improvement Shuttle--Holy Spirit, please persuade them to take the liberating ride.

Sovereign God, thank you for being my Teacher.  I extol You for being my Master.  Thank you for providing me a traveling companion in Jesus Christ.  In His name, I pray...AMEN.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG).

THE VALLEY - Chapter One

I prayed the name of Yahweh Roi (The Lord Is My Shepherd) as part of my devotion last week.  Ann Spangler, author of Praying the Names of God, requires the reader to study Psalm 23 to learn more about Yahweh Roi.  She also poses the question, “How would your experience of daily life change if you really believed that goodness and kindness would follow you all the days of your life?”

All week long, I practiced living like I truly “believed that goodness and” mercy followed me.  In all of my dealings, before I responded with sarcasm or a criticism, I chanted: Goodness and mercy follow you, Malkia; goodness and love follow you!

I have matured to a place of recognizing that God is ever-present in all of my circumstances, good and bad.  The study of Psalm 23 moved me to recall a time when I was positioned in “the valley of the shadow of death” and I did not recognize the presence of God.  The Valley – Chapter One addresses a time of walking “through the valley of the shadow of” heartache.

THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake. Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over. Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place. (Psalm 23, AMP).

 O Lord, how long will this pain last?!

When I wake up in the morning, I’m hurting.  When I go to sleep at night, I’m hurting.  In the midday, I’m just going through the motions.

O Lord, how long will I walk in this valley?

Will this pain ever cease?!  I’m inconsolable.  A stranger to heartache I am not, but why did this have to happen to me?  Seriously God, I can’t feel my heartbeat.

O Lord, how long will I stand in this valley?

I’m totally numb.  I don’t want to laugh.  I don’t want to smile.  I don’t want to moan.  I don’t want to wail.  I don’t want to applaud.  I don’t want to sing.  I don’t want to talk.  I don’t want to move.  I don’t!

What have I done in this life that’s deserving of such excruciating pain?  I’m bewildered and nearly convinced that I’m suffering from a mental health disorder (i.e., dementia, schizophrenia). 

O Lord, how long will I walk in this valley?

God, what happens when my faith diminishes to the size of a pinpoint?

But the Master said, "There is no 'more' or 'less' in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it would do it.” (Luke 17:6, MSG).

Dear God:

I need You to rescue me from this dark, paralyzing valley!

I’m neglecting my health.  I’ve relapsed to the practice of immoral behavior and the consumption of harmful substances to relieve my pain.

Honestly, my faith is dwindling and I’m having a hard time believing Your promises.  You said “goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life,” but right now, in this valley, I feel like sin, cruelty, and abandonment are following close behind me. (Psalm 23:6).

Life is challenging because I’m positioned in this valley and I don’t know how to escape.  Life is good because my earth angels are interceding when I don’t have the fortitude to pray.  Life is abundant because You are with me from my valley to my win!

Yahweh Roi, I need You to illuminate my path in this valley.  Reveal Your presence to me, O Shepherd.  Give me the faith to command this pain to jump to its rightful place, away from me.  Shield me with Your rod and help me to heed Your guidance.  Apply Your healing salve to comfort my aching heart.  Please forgive me for withdrawing from You.  Forgive me for turning to detrimental things, people and places, instead of turning to You.  I extend my arms to You now as a demonstration of the release of my angst, and my willingness to depend on You.  With my hands raised, I reach out for You to lead me one step closer to joy.  In the name of Jesus Christ, the One who consoles and keeps me…Amen.

So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this!" You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough.  (Psalm 30:10-12, MSG).